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And, according to her posted itinerary, she would be in our city seeing "clients" the following week. Here I was, digging through my husband's files in an attempt to prove my suspicions wrong, and instead I'd discovered he wasn't just looking at porn, he was actually contacting hookers. "The computer is evil," he said, like a little boy looking to dodge the blame. It was tough to admit they'd been right, but I wanted to see for myself what they had found.Still hoping for an explanation, I called Joe and asked about Heather. I can't work or concentrate." There was a desperation in his voice I'd never noticed before. "I just flirted in chat rooms and emails.""But why? "I wish I'd never gone on it." But Joe wasn't a kid, he was a 37-year-old dad. My father selected "cookies" from a menu on his Web browser, which listed every site that had been visited.My life unraveled with an unexpected phone call from my mother: "Do you know what your husband's doing on the computer? "Oh, Mom, Joe just surfs the sites and looks at new gadgets. "While Joe was using the computer, he accidentally deleted the bookmark for Dad's favorite financial site," she said. We'd just come back from visiting my parents with our five-year-old son, Jamie.Wandering into the next room, I'd see Joe sitting in front of the screen, bathed in a flickering blue light. "If someone went to a bunch of porn sites, I don't know anything about it. I watched as Joe dialed their number and calmly repeated what he'd said to me. Furious, they told him he was lying and that he wasn't welcome in their house anymore. The next day, out of the blue, he said something I'd been waiting years to hear: He was ready to have another baby.When I'd ask what he was doing, he would say, "Just surfing," then turn off the computer and come to bed. During the week that followed, the sting of my parents' accusations faded. As I turned on his office monitor, Joe was playful, cracking jokes as he relaxed against the wall.
And it's not normal to visit sites dedicated to sadomasochism and voyeurism — not just once out of curiosity, but over and over again.At first, he was vague, saying he didn't recall emailing her. I could see that in the past year, someone had been looking at a lot of porn — and all the dates corresponded with our visits.